Fancy going on Vacation with T-Rex?

Based on these trailer shots, who wouldn’t want a once in a lifetime trip to the very Disney-like Jurassic World.  It probably would be just the once too, as things look to be going downhill pretty fast there on Isla Nublar.  Put it this way, if Jurassics I, II and III are anything to go by, then there’s likely to be very little pixie dust flying around, but you would get to see plenty of severed limbs flying into view, with a good chance that you won’t make it back out alive.  The advice to ‘please keep your hands, arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times  couldn’t be more apt when you’re trundling around a theme park full of man-eating dinosaurs……..and when a mother’s rather sinister advice, to the next generation of cute Jurassic Park kids, is to RUN, then this probably is going to be the trip of a lifetime – just not in a very good way.

It’s been 22 years since a regenerated T-Rex ignored the ‘engaged’ sign on a solitary toilet cubicle and gobbled up that lawyer on the loo and, if internet conjecture is true, that same T-Rex is alive and well, as Jurassic World is set to open its doors to a crowd of eager thrill seekers.

As someone who scares pretty easily, you wouldn’t catch me going through those massive, wooden doors (looking alarmingly like a gigantic dinosaur mouth about to swallow you whole) – but thankfully there’s an army of gullible extras, willing to become dinosaur fodder in this latest Dino offering, so we’re good to go this June 12th, 2015.

If you visit the very clever,  you’ll see that the homage to Disney is everywhere; from the Walt inspired statue of John Hammond (also a nice way to include Richard Attenborough in the proceedings) to the monorail circling the park.  Back to the trailer though, and the Ford tour vehicles, in the 1993 original, have been replaced by said monorail and the  addition of new, don’t-you-just-want-one, Gyrospheres, enabling the theme park goers to go off road and roll with the dinosaurs.  There’s an Animal Kingdom-type truck, taking the visitors for an up-close safari with those fast running, dino-ostrich thingamajigs, a Magic Kingdom jungle-type cruise (where crocodiles probably aren’t the worst things you’re looking out for) and a Dino Sea World, as something called a Mosasaur (which actually does look like a giant crocodile) is seen erupting from the tank to devour a great white shark hanging above the stadium  –  wait a minute, isn’t that Jaws? – nice reference to Spielberg that, who produced this latest Jurassic instalment.

We then switch to the science boffins, holed up in their Sci-Fi labs, where a woman in white tells us that, yes, they have just gone and invented a Frankenstein-type dinosaur in an exciting, and probably not too safe, hybrid experiment.  Didn’t these people learn anything from Jurassic Park I?   Clearly Jeff Goldblum’s warning to leave nature well alone, and to most definitely not think you’re God,  fell on deaf ears.  So the stage is set for Indominus Rex (boring old T-Rex doesn’t cut it anymore) to go off and devour a few of those excitable visitors thronging down Main Street;  who deserve it quite frankly.  I mean, what kind of parent thinks it’s a good idea to take the kids to this prehistoric island, knowing its previous track record?

The velociraptors are back, but definitely not looking as evil as they did when they stalked the original cute Jurassic Park kids.  In fact, they’re looking downright cuddly, and it looks like Chris Pratt is the Dinosaur Whisperer, training up his velociraptor pack so he can be part of the coolest motorcycle gang on planet earth.

Having only just discovered that this movie is coming out – yes, I’m that far out of the loop – I now can’t wait to see this entertainment hybrid (get it?) of two of the kid population’s (and quite a few adults too) favourite things – Disney and Dinosaurs – doesn’t get much better than that.




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